Mushroom Magic

Hello lovelies!

How've you been? 

Today we went on an autumnal adventure to two gorgeous Kentish villages. Chiddingstone Village, our first stop, is actually owned almost entirely by the National Trust because it's so picturesque. We discovered upon arrival that Chiddingstone also has a very atmospheric churchyard and a castle (fancy!). 

How creepy-looking is this crypt door handle!?!

I was ecstatic to find out that the castle grounds were bursting with dozens of kinds of mushrooms! I lost count of how many varieties we spotted, so I was very grateful I had taken my camera with me to document our finds. 

Just in case you're getting bored of mushroom photos, here's one of a nice door:

Aaaaand back to mushrooms:

This one reminded me of a cappuccino

We saw teeny tiny ones the height of matchsticks:

And giant ones the size of dessert plates:

After scrabbling round on the floor photographing fungi, a coffee/hot chocolate break was practically essential. Our drinks were accompanied by a flutter of incredibly friendly feathery folk, as the café's courtyard filled up with robins, sparrows, and starlings looking for cake crumbs. As if I would ever drop cake crumbs.

Our second stop was a wander around Westerham, with a delicious lunch at Food for Thought, followed by a visit to Quebec House; the childhood home of General James Wolfe who was victor of the Battle of Quebec (1759). I'll be honest here; I ate A LOT of goats cheese for lunch. This caused me to enter a full-belly-coma and prevented me from finding the energy to read the historical information posters at the house. In summary, General Wolfe did some wars and he was (mostly) good at them. I think. 

The information I did managed to take in through the haze of cheese was:

1. The bust of General Wolfe displayed in the dining room isn't modelled on his actual face. The General died in battle and the sculptor who created the bust posthumously used the face of similar-looking servant as a model. I found this fact disproportionately hilarious, and my mirth only increased after Tom queried why one of the young servants closely resembled the master of the house! Wink wink, nudge nudge etc.

2. There's a painting on the first floor landing depicting the stairs at Quebec House. Hanging right next to the stairs. It was surreal.

3. Being informed by one of the seriously lovely NT volunteers that General Wolfe's soldiers only carried one spare shoe with them into battle. I (incorrectly) assumed that some soldiers had carried "right" shoes and some had carried "left", to divide the weight in case someone lost a pair. As it turns out, until the start of the 19th Century, SHOES WERE NOT MADE AS "RIGHT" AND "LEFT" FEET. Instead, both shoes were identical, and would be regularly swapped between feet to ensure an even wear. 

Mind. Blown.

What've you been up to recently? Seen any good mushrooms?

Katie xxx

P.S. I'm very excited to say I've hit 50,000 page views- so keep your eyes peeled for a celebratory giveaway!

Top Five Film Quotes

Here are my top 5 film quotes (which I can remember at this time), just because I like lists:

1. I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake!

Fat Amy, Pitch Perfect.

Fat Amy - you are my idol. [from Lolsnaps]

2. Put the bunny back in the box.

Cameron Poe, Con Air

I really want to set this as the text notification tone on my phone. I mean I really want to. Rumour has it I recently spent half an hour (unsuccessfully) attempting to record it on my phone from a Youtube clip.

3. EVERYTHING said in National Treasure (1 and 2). 

Particularly when Nicholas Cage pretends to be English and starts yelling about haggis (truly excellent work, research interns!).

4. You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.

Harry Burns, When Harry Met Sally

Someone is staring at you in Personal Growth...

5. We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!

Withnail, Withnail and I.

I spend at least 15% of every day lamenting the fact that my life is not more like Withnail and I. 

Have you got any favourite lines from films? 

Katie xxx

Sweatshirts and Skeletons

Hello lovely people!
Are you having a good week? 

I spent at least fifteen minutes today thinking it was Wednesday. In the middle of the day too. I think my brain had just had enough of Tuesday.

Here's what's been going on with me recently (besides forgetting that Tuesdays last for 24 hours):

On Sunday, Tom and I donned our finest holey jeans and gravy-stained t-shirts and went on a very exciting outing to The Tip, to get rid of some of the rubbish which had been cluttering up our back garden.

Whilst chucking our garden refuse into the appropriate receptacle, keeping rigidly to the Tip Laws, Karma decided to literally slap me across the face in what I can only assume was a backlash against my slovenly attitude towards gardening. As I tipped our (long dead) Magnolia tree* into the skip, one of the branches whipped right across my cheek like a Dickensian headmaster's cane. Ouch. 

It was like this. Only my arms are way more muscular.
[image source]

Post-caning, I got chatting to one of the guys working there. Mostly because I wanted a très shabby-chic-urban-warehouse-rustic-upcycled-vintage wooden stool I'd spotted, which some idiot had just DUMPED there like a woodworm-ridden piece of rubbish. As it turned out, the Tip King (as I shall henceforce refer to him) actually uses the stool as a throne from which to survey his recycled kingdom, and he therefore didn't want to part with it. Fair play, Tip King. 

Anyway, I digress- I got chatting to the Tip King about the weird and wonderful things he must've seen people get rid of (prompted by the pair of mannequin legs he keeps propped next to his throne, as you do). The Tip King told me that, having been King of the Tip for over half a decade (he actually said "over 5 years", but I reckon "half a decade" sounds fancier), there was nothing which could surprise him any more. Which was obviously my cue to ask "Have you ever found a body?". The answer? YES. 

So.... Erm... At least the local cold blooded killers care about recycling, I guess?!


In other news, I have discovered a new clothing website stocked with all kinds of weird and wonderful items (check this out!), which offers FREE worldwide shipping. Hurrah! From what I've seen so far, Sheinside seems to have a constant sale on; and signing up via Facebook scored me 20% off my whole order. Which meant the 3 items I purchased yesterday averaged out to £11 each, including shipping. I am particularly excited about the sweatshirt. 

I bought this blue dress for work, so it doesn't even COUNT as proper shopping.

Same with this minty green one

This sweatshirt is for wearing at all times when I am not at work.

The clothes haven't arrived yet, so for all I know they are made of spit and paper; but I'm keeping everything crossed they're as nice as they look online, because I really want this blouse (for work!! It's a career investment!) when it's back in stock. And maybe this sweatshirt - it's just SO 90s!! 


Finally, I've discovered a brilliant new Twitter account which makes and tweets photoshopped animal hybrid pictures. My favourites are the hostrich and the owlberry (technically not an animal mashup, but just check out that little green stalk hat!):

Image from @AnimalMashups

Image from @AnimalMashups

Brilliant, aren't they?

What have you been up to recently?

Katie xxx

*Sorry Marilyn!

Awkward & Awesome

I'm shamelessly stealing Emma's excellent post idea today because my week so far has contained moments of both Awkward and Awesome; which I naturally wanted to share with all of you! 

So here's the Awkward:

1. Crazy stress levels, which have been making me feel like this:

2. Accidentally spilling half a cup of water on my right boob whilst rushing around at work. 

Not really sure why I added the "accidentally" there... Who would do that on purpose?! 

Anyway, I then had to spend five minutes in the ladies' as an amateur contortionist, trying to bend low enough to fit the top of my dress under the hand-dryer:

I'm just glad no-one else came in to use the loos. 

3. Finding out there's a Giant Spider in our kitchen, hiding behind the dishwasher. I haven't seen it, but I heard Tom yell something along the lines of "Holy Crap!"- which is basically our code for Elephant Sized Spider On The Loose. 

I really don't like spiders. Especially Giant ones. But you know what my biggest fear is? WHAT IF IT CUTS ME OFF FROM THE FRIDGE?!

And to balance it out, the Awesome:

1. Monday was our 5 Year Anniversary. FIVE YEARS. That's, like, a really long time. This year's celebrations were pretty low-key (which was nothing to do with both of us forgetting, *ahem*... at least we're equally hopeless!), but Tom bought me a killer toffee cake and the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen :) 

2. Finding my new favourite wintery drink. I may not have actually tried it yet, but I KNOW it's going to blow Hot Elderflower Punch out of the water. On Monday I found cherry juice(!) in the fresh juice isle at Tesco, and my bakery sense* is telling me that cherry juice + Amaretto is going to be like a cup of (alcoholic) Bakewell tart. I'll let you know how it goes.

3. Watching Orange is the new Black. We recently started a Netflix subscription, and I am VERY excited about all the rubbishy rom coms in my future. However, after receiving a very enthusiastic recommendation for Orange is the New Black, I've mainly been watching that. It's edgy, funny, dramatic, and has a lot less shiv-ing than I expected for a series set in prison. Four stars.

4. Chocolate. It's stopped me from stabbing anyone with a Biro.

What's been going on in your life recently?

Katie xxx

* Like a Spidey Sense, only it tingles about pastry.

Grown Up Stuff

There are two particular activities which always make me feel like a Proper Grown Up. Strangely, these things are not our mortgage, driving a car, or being a member of English Heritage and the National Trust, but are in fact:

1. Working on my laptop on the train. 

2. Drinking a takeaway coffee on the way to work.

This means I am far too excited that my local Waitrose just installed a fancy pants coffee machine giving myWaitrose card holders ONE FREE COFFEE EVERY DAY. FOREVER. And myWaitrose Cards are free. So you're getting free stuff for free. FREEEEEE.

Free cappuccino!! More exciting than a talking unicorn.

I'm now on a mission to find a leak-proof, beautiful thermos cup so I can fill up on free coffee without using hundreds of disposable paper cups and plastic lids. So, if you have any recommendations for a cup that works brilliantly, I'd be very grateful for tips in the comments below :)

As of yesterday, I've added a third thing to my list of Stuff That Makes Me Feel All Grown Up And Responsible. It's also the most exciting thing to have happened to me recently by far (sorry, Waitrose coffee machine). I'm feeling honoured and overwhelmed to have been asked by one of my lifelong (recently engaged) friends to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. EEEEEEEPPP!!! 

I've never even gone to a wedding before, so I'm seriously psyched to be asked to be part of her special day. The cherry on the top of the (huge, weddingy) cake is that I get to share the experience with two of my besties because my other lifelong girlfriend is also a bridesmaid :) Woohoo! And did I mention EEEEEEEEEPPPP?!?! 

Bridesmaids always get to wear capes, right?
[Image borrowed from this amazing Superhero wedding]

I'm not quite sure what being a bridesmaid entails, but thankfully I have 14 months in which to cram in all the knowledge I'll need to be The Best Bridesmaid Ever. I'm going to spend that time watching films involving bridesmaids for tips on what (not) to do (I'm guessing 27 Dresses = Yes; My Best Friend's Wedding = No), learning to walk in heels (as I currently resemble a drunken newborn fawn wearing anything higher than flats), and rugby-tackling unsuspecting women outside florists' shops to build my bouquet-nabbing skills. I pretty sure that covers everything I'll need to do, right?

Katie xxx